3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George George Carlin For four decades, George Carlin has been one of America's favorite comics, known as much for his willingness to take on taboo subjects as for his absurdist wordplay. As an author, he has proved equally popular: With combined sales of more than two million copies, Carlin's three books of razor-sharp and hilarious observations have topped bestseller lists nationwide. Now, just in time for the holidays, Hyperion proudly collects all three volumes - When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Napalm and Silly Putty, and Brain Droppings - into one hilarious omnibus, a slipcased edition that also includes new material.
A Brief History of the Future Clarke, Stephen What if teleportation was really possible? Englishman Richie Fisher is about to find out ... Richie and his wife Clara have won a weekend in New York in a newspaper competition. While Clara is off blowing their spending money, Richie wanders aimlessly, chewing on a veggie-burger, ending up in a gift-shop where he finds himself standing in front of an instant transporter machine. It looks nothing like the open-plan teleporter on Captain Kirk's Starship Enterprise; in fact, it seems more like a glorified microwave oven. Richie places his burger inside, hits the return key on the linked-up computer - and the burger disappears. But if he can teleport a half-eaten veggie-burger, what else could you do with the machine? For criminals, the possibilities are endless. Who could catch you if you beamed drugs into nostrils a hundred miles away? And how much would illegal immigrants pay to be teleported into the rich host country of their choice? Richie buys a teleporter and takes it back...
A Piano in the Pyrenees Tony Hawks Inspired by breathtaking views and romantic dreams of finding love in the mountains, Tony Hawks impulsively buys a house in the French Pyrenees. Here, he plans to finally fulfil his childhood fantasy of mastering the piano, untroubled by the problems of the world. In reality, the chaotic story of Tony's hopelessly ill-considered house purchase reads like the definitive guide to how not to buy a home overseas. It finds him flirting with the removal business in a disastrous attempt to transport his piano to France in a dodgy white van; foolishly electing to build a swimming pool himself; and expanding his relationship repertoire when he starts co-habiting, not with an exquisite French beauty, but a middle-aged builder from West London. As Tony and his friends haplessly attempt to fit into village life, they learn more about themselves and each other than they ever imagined.
Alms For Oblivion Vol I Raven, Simon Alms for Oblivion is a series of ten novels, all telling separate stories but at the same time linked together by the characters they have in common: schoolboys and businessmen, writers and soldiers, prostitutes and patient wives, actresses and models. In the first four novels Raven's wayward band of upper-class anti-heroes lurch from debauched parties to rehearsals for nuclear war; from blackmail to murder; from marriage to adultery and back again. Volume 1: The Rich Pay Late, Friends in Low Places, The Sabre Squadron and Fielding Gray
Alms For Oblivion Vol II Raven, Simon Simon Raven's sequence of colourful and funny novels about the English upper-class misbehaving continues against a backdrop of intrigue in Athens, radicalism in Cambridge, turmoil in India and movie-making in Corfu. Dazzlingly witty and thoroughly depraved, Raven's world is also a dark mirror to our times - one that is sure to make you blush, shriek, laugh out loud and always read on. Volume 2: The Judas Boy, Places Where they Sing, Sound the Retreat and Come Like Shadows
Alms For Oblivion Vol III Raven, Simon The Alms for Oblivion sequence - an extraordinary series of murders, suicides, affairs, fighting, fires and at least one explosion, blackmail, gambling, illness, madness, lots of parties and plenty of sex -draws to a close with two novels about death and retribution. But Simon Raven's achievement and the conflicted, colourful or uniquely vile characters he created are not easily forgotten after the last page is turned. Volume III includes Bring Forth the Body and The Survivors
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Chelsea Handler Chelsea Handler is a woman on a mission. She's smart, sassy and not afraid to speak her mind. From an early age Chelsea knew exactly what she wanted and even in the trickiest of situations, she's never one to pass up an opportunity. Like the time she convinced her third-grade class she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos just to get them to like her, or when she spent the night in a women's prison, contemplating an affair with the inmate who killed her own sister. Chelsea, it seems, has done it all, and a whole lot more... Any mishaps along the way just spur Chelsea on further. Whether she is being dry-humped by a sumo masseur, dumped by her Big Red experiment or kicked out of a London restaurant with her pants down, Chelsea is always armed with an unshakeable disregard for rules and is incapable of leading a quiet life. "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" is an entertaining memoir-in-stories that will have you rolling around with laughter....
Bond Girl Erin Duffy Being the new girl in one of New York's quite what Alex Garrett expected. For one thing she gets a fold-up chair and no desk - apparently some people don't last long enough to need their own chair... For another, her colleagues aren't quite the geeks she feared. In fact, in no time at all she's having the time of her life. Sure, it's not ideal when you lose thousands of dollars on your first trade, and no she hadn't really expected to be sent for car-loads of pizzas for breakfast - without a car... But she soon realises that the crazy, shocking, hilarious group of men that surround her could be the best friends she ever had, and one of them may become even more.
But I Wanted a Pony! illustrated by Anne Taintor But I Wanted a Pony! An Anne Taintor Motherhood Collection brings together both fresh and classic images with Anne's signature snarky commentary on the humour, joys, trials and cocktail hours of motherhood.
Care of Wooden Floors Will Wiles A bold and brilliant debut from a darkly funny new voice. Oskar is a minimalist composer best known for his piece "Variations on Tram Timetables". He lives with his wife and two cats in an unnamed Eastern European city. But this book isn't really about Oskar. Oskar is in Los Angeles, having his marriage dismantled by lawyers. Meanwhile, he has entrusted an old friend to take care of his perfect, beautiful apartment. Despite Oskar leaving extensive notes on how to keep his flat in pristine condition, a tiny oversight initiates a chain of farcical, and even fatal, disasters. "Care of Wooden Floors" is about loneliness, friendship and the quest for, and struggle against, perfection. And it is, a little, about how to take care of wooden floors.
Crap CVs Jenny Crompton Application for Employment I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager. Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate. Crap CVs is a hilarious compilation of the worst job applications imaginable, including overly-honest cover letters, embarrassing typos, mortifying personal revelations, awkward interview questions, misplaced self-confidence, self-aggrandizing gibberish, blatant truth-twisting and, of course, outright lies.
Dad Is Fat Jim Gaffigan In Dad Is Fat, stand - up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"). Reminiscent of Bill Cosby's Fatherhood, Dad Is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
Death: A Life George Pendle At last, the mysterious, feared, and misunderstood being known only as "Death" talks frankly and unforgettably about his infinitely awful existence. Chronicling his abusive childhood, his near-fatal addiction to Life, his excruciating time in rehab, and the ultimate triumph of his true nature, this long-awaited autobiography finally reveals the inner story of one of the most troubling, and troubled, figures in history. For the first time, Death reveals his affairs with the living, his maltreatment at the hands of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse", the ungodly truth behind the infamous "Jesus Incident" and the loneliness of being the "End of All Things".
Dial M For Merde Stephen Clarke In the South of France, Paul West has a license to thrill. He has just received an offer he can't refuse: two weeks in the sun, all expenses paid, with a beautiful blonde called Gloria Monday. But it soon becomes obvious that M, as Gloria likes to be known, is not really interested in holidaying with Paul. She has bigger fish to fry. Meanwhile Paul's best friend Elodie is getting married, and Paul is asked to do the catering. Cooking for the French is a risky assignment at the best of times, but Paul assures Elodie that nothing can go wrong. Or can it? When Paul discovers that M's real target is France's biggest fish of all - the new President - and that he's coming to Elodie's wedding, he realises that the merde is about to hit the fan ...
Dial M For Merde Clarke, Stephen Englishman Paul West has just received an offer he can't refuse: two weeks in the sun, all expenses paid, with a beautiful blonde called Gloria Monday. M, as Gloria likes to be known, is down south to report on caviar trafficking - but it soon becomes obvious that she's interested in something a lot more fishy than caviar. Meanwhile Paul's best friend Elodie is marrying a French aristocrat, and Paul is asked to do the catering. Cooking for the French is a risky assignment at the best of times, but Paul, who is starting to feel a bit like James Bond, assures her that nothing can go wrong. Or can it? As Paul is sexually harassed by an English hen party, picked on by French commandoes and arrested by excitable gendarmes, he realises that events are spiralling out of control. And when he discovers that M's real target is France's biggest fish of all - the new President - and that he's coming to Elodie's wedding, Paul knows that the merde really is about to hit the fan ...
Don't Get Me Started Symons, Mitchell Modern life is full of annoyances. Indeed it sometimes seems as if life conspires to become more and more annoying every day, just to piss us off. *Pop-up windows on the internet *Brian Sewell's voice *People who use finger signs to denote quotation marks *'Talking' birthday cards that never shut up *Mobile phone ringtones Is there no end to this pain?! Well Mitchell Symons has decided that enough is enough. He's mad as hell, and he's not going to take this any more! If you thought the Grumpy Old Men were grumpy, it's time to think again. Hilarious, entertaining and downright infuriating, this is essential reading for anyone out there who likes a good rant.
Don't Stop Me Now Jeremy Clarkson There's more to life than cars. Jeremy Clarkson knows this. There is, after all a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered. So, before, he gets on to torque steer and active suspension, he takes time to consider: the madness of Galapagos tortoises; the similarities between Jeremy Paxman and AC/DC's bass guitarist; the problems and perils of being English; God's dumbest creation. Then there are the cars: whether it's the poxiest little runabout or an exotic, firebreathing supercar, no one does cars like Clarkson. Unmoved by mechanics' claims and unimpressed by press junkets, he approaches anything on four wheels without fear or favour. What emerges from the ashes is rarely pretty. But always very, very funny.
Driven to Distraction Jeremy Clarkson Brace yourself, Clarkson's back. And he'd like to tell you what he thinks about some of the most awe-inspiring, earth-shatteringly fast and jaw-droppingly gorgeous cars in the world (alongside a few irredeemable disasters...). Or he would, if there weren't so many things competing for his attention first. So much to get off his chest. The world according to Clarkson is a perplexing place, filled with thorny subjects like: the prospect of having Terry Wogan as president; why you'll never see a woman driving a Lexus; the unforeseen consequences of inadequate birth control; and, why everyone should spend a weekend with a digger. Fearless, independent, surprising and laugh-out-loud funny, "Driven to Distraction" is full-throttle Clarkson at his best; a unique look at the joys, absurdities and frustrations of modern life. With wheels. Buckle up, get comfortable, and hold on tight. There's no one who writes about cars like Jeremy.
Duermete, carajo! Adam Mansbach "Duermete, carajo!" es un cuento para dormir para los padres que viven en el mundo real, en el cual un par de gatitos ronroneando y unas lineas simpaticas no son lo suficiente para zumbar a un nino pequeno a dormir felizmente. Profano, carinoso y franco de manera radical, cuenta la conocida y callada tribulacion de acostar a su angelito. Bello, subversivo y para mearse "Duermete, carajo!" es un libro para padres experimentados, nuevos e incipientes. (Y probablemente es mejor no leerselo a los pequenos).